What else could we have done?

I know that you are not supposed to tell your left hand what your right hand does, but I am really troubled and having a difficult time processing all this, I think I need to vent.

This past weekend we met a couple at our church. Both Aaron and I had noticed them coming for the past couple of weeks. We had said our his and how are you, but it wasn't until this past Sunday that we got to chat with them and found out they have been homeless for a while now. To top it off, the girl, who is only 18 is pregnant (the guy is 28). Remember how cold it was last week, yeah. Aaron tried to help them without compromising our family and we had both agreed that inviting them into our home was not an option. Aaron pointed them somewhere where they might be able to rent for cheap and told them that if that didn't work out the girl could come stay at our house if she wanted. They showed up at our door step Tuesday night. We invited them in, talked and were ready to stand to our word of letting the girl sleep in our basement. Soon after that, actually, after a very long talk, it changed to letting them both stay in our basement. We were really nervous about it, but felt compelled to help them. After all they had open up to us, told us about their tragic and very traumatic lives, and were now asking for our help.

The guy told us of his struggle with alcohol, so we put him in contact with someone we know who attends the AA support groups. He went one night, but didn't want to go back. Today, after they came back from looking for a job he went straight downstairs and slept the rest of the afternoon. His girlfriend came and hung out with me while I made dinner upstairs. She said he was tired because he went to sleep late last night and woke up at 4:30 this morning, only getting about 4 hrs of sleep. I was very straight to the point and asked her if he had been drinking, that was one of the conditions under which Aaron let him stay, that he couldn't drink or he was out. She said that he had not been drinking and that she had talked to him about how important it was that he wouldn't because she understood how that would worry me with two babies and a complete stranger living in my basement.

Then it was bed time and I was getting the girls ready for bed. I couldn't find Jocie's osito and remembered she was with me in the office downstairs while I searched the Internet for a recipe for dinner, and that she must had left it there. I headed downstairs to look for it, and even though it is my house, I always knocked before coming in. They wouldn't answer so I let myself in...and that's when the smell hit me. It was alcohol. I went upstairs and told Aaron he needed to go see what was going on. It took him a long time to come back upstairs and when he did he was accompanied by the two of them. They said thank you and went out the front door, again into the cold, dark night. I told her, as she was leaving that if she needed anything she could always come back, remember, she is 4 months pregnant.

I'm still seating here, wondering what I could have done more than giving them warm meals and a place to stay for two days. Aaron and I had this plan were we would get him to agree about going for a three month detox, while she stayed with us, no charge. She could work and save up for them to get their own place and star new. With him clean he would be better ready to be a better dad and a better husband. That worked out perfectly in our heads. Why would he not think the same? He didn't. Aaron offered it before they left, and he said no.

We took a chance. We knew we were compromising the safety of our family and still don't understand why we did something like that. We had faith that Heavenly Father would protect us for trying to help two of his children, at least that was our prayer.

We learned that in cases like this it is very difficult to try to help someone when they won't do much to help themselves. But then again, how can they help themselves when they are trapped in their addiction and the addiction controls them, not the other way around. How can you make them understand that they can have a better life when that life is all they know, all they were given?

As for that little one, I will always wonder. It will always hunt me even. Still, is there anything more I can do?